Religion is a tricky issue and in this modern world we all try to figure it out. I find that dogma helps and dogmatically adhering to a system gives you a better sense of surety. Lots of people have issues with Islam at the moment for obvious political reasons. The main problem with Islam I have is that when I get to paradise it's going to be very difficult to single Mohammed out in a crowd as I have no visual reference. Jesus is easy, he's going to to have a beard. It may be difficult to find him in thirty or so years when the hipsters all die out but I'll just look at everyone's hands. I guess Jesus will be the one with no tattoos but at least some evidence of extreme body piercing. Also he probably won't know much about that latest bands unless he takes a quick peek at Pitchfork. I also presume he's not much of a coffee drinker. Was coffee invented when he was around?
Like many great minds I have a wealth of fantastic ideas for short stories and novels. I often like to get these down on paper when I can be bothered. However procrastination often gets in the way of ever completing these. Naughty procrastination. (Also, lack of talent). In my life I've started thousands of short stories and novels but sadly the weight of my genius prevents me from ever writing more than the first paragraph. Sometimes not even that. It is very difficult and most people don't understand what it is to be like when you are this talented and lazy. Here's my latest attempt.
'In hell, there's a special room, or rather more of an auditorium, in which all the people who, throughout history, have been called 'The Butcher of'' meet and chat and take a light buffet lunch. Surprisingly, there's usually quiet a few Germans there. Unfortunately, due to the stringent entry qualifications, Mr Gavin Steeblethorpe (Steeblethorpe and Sons Family Butchers of Massey-on-the-Wold) found himself rubbing shoulders with Klaus Barbie and Reinhard Heidrich over cantaloupe and coffee one morning after being suddenly taken by a brief but violent heart attack.'