Like many great minds I have a wealth of fantastic ideas for short stories and novels. I often like to get these down on paper when I can be bothered. However procrastination often gets in the way of ever completing these. Naughty procrastination. (Also, lack of talent). In my life I've started thousands of short stories and novels but sadly the weight of my genius prevents me from ever writing more than the first paragraph. Sometimes not even that. It is very difficult and most people don't understand what it is to be like when you are this talented and lazy. Here's my latest attempt.
'The Butcher'
'In hell, there's a special room, or rather more of an auditorium, in which all the people who, throughout history, have been called 'The Butcher of'' meet and chat and take a light buffet lunch. Surprisingly, there's usually quiet a few Germans there. Unfortunately, due to the stringent entry qualifications, Mr Gavin Steeblethorpe (Steeblethorpe and Sons Family Butchers of Massey-on-the-Wold) found himself rubbing shoulders with Klaus Barbie and Reinhard Heidrich over cantaloupe and coffee one morning after being suddenly taken by a brief but violent heart attack.'
'The Butcher'
'In hell, there's a special room, or rather more of an auditorium, in which all the people who, throughout history, have been called 'The Butcher of'' meet and chat and take a light buffet lunch. Surprisingly, there's usually quiet a few Germans there. Unfortunately, due to the stringent entry qualifications, Mr Gavin Steeblethorpe (Steeblethorpe and Sons Family Butchers of Massey-on-the-Wold) found himself rubbing shoulders with Klaus Barbie and Reinhard Heidrich over cantaloupe and coffee one morning after being suddenly taken by a brief but violent heart attack.'